Monday, May 30, 2016
Arden really wants to be an aunt so she asked me how she could become one.
Me, "Well, Halle or Jack would have to have a kid for you to become an aunt."
"If Halle has a baby then she would have to take care of three kids: Jack, me, and her kid."
"Well no, because you'll be grown up by then."
"Oh. So then that means you'll be almost dying by then."
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Jack wanted a cup, so I got one for him out of the dishwasher. I poured some chocolate milk into it. He loves chocolate milk after all. He came to me after a minute and said, "the chocolate milk in the brown cup makes me go "bleh." I don't like it."
Me, "well maybe it's expired." I taste it and it tastes fine.
He says, "I just want water."
Me, "you don't like chocolate milk anymore?"
Jack, "no, only on Fridays."
Well damn, today is Wednesday. Next time I'll know better.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
We were all in Brian's truck on the way to church one morning, listening to a Christian station on the radio. Suddenly we all started to smell something rank.
Halle says from the back seat to Arden, "put your shoes back on, your feet stink!"
I say, "oh my gosh, Arden, those are some nasty feet!"
Arden, "well, Jesus had nasty feet, and we're on our way to church, so..... That's fine"
Me, "yeah you're right Jesus did have some nasty feet probably."
Arden, "and see, they're singing about Jesus' nasty feet on the radio."
Halle and I laughing, "no they're not!"
Arden, "Yes they are! See they just said it again."
Brian chimes in, "yeah they ARE saying nasty feet. Jesus had dirty feet and that's what they're talking about. You know, his feet were dirty walking around back then."
So I'm like, yeah maybe, I mean he did wash his disciples feet and Mary washed his feet with perfume.
But still I know they are NOT talking about nasty feet in a worship song!"
We argue back and forth, me and Halle against Brian and Arden.
I look up the lyrics. It's Matthew West's song called "Grace Wins." Just so you know, it says "death's defeat" not "nasty feet."
We were all cracking up! Now I can't unhear "nasty feet" every time I listen to it.
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Every year Arden tells me "this was the best birthday ever." I'm glad she thinks so because I did zero prep for her birthday. Well, ok, I went to the store and stocked up on contraband snacks to sneak into the movie theater. Does that count as party planning?
This year she went to the movies with some of her friends. They saw Zootopia.
Poor Jack was the only boy out of the whole group. He played the part of annoying little brother perfectly, though. He's in this kissing phase where he kisses everyone. Therefore, he was annoying all the girls by kissing them on their arms and hands repeatedly. "Jack!!! Stop kissing me!" lol.
Above is a pic of Arden and her friends right before the movie. Notice Jack's backpack. He's the smuggler of the snacks. I know, I'm a terrible person; I get young kids to do my dirty work. I did buy a large and large popcorn, which Jack promptly spilled all over the floor, so I got paybacks for my misdeeds.
After the movie we headed over to a frozen yogurt shop. It was just a little ways down in the parking lot, so I packed all 10 kids into my van. They thought it was the coolest thing ever that they could sit on the floor and *gasp* not wear seat belts. (If they only knew how I used to ride in a car.)It took longer for them to decide who was going to sit where than the drive itself. Apparently these are important decisions to make when you're a 7 year old girl.
We all had frozen yogurt at Tutti Frutti. Some of the girls had never been to a froyo shop and immediately fell in love with it and all the options they had to choose from.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
After taking 10 kids to the movie theater for Arden's bday by myself, I'm hiding out downstairs in my bedroom, hoping no residual party guests (including my own kids) find me.
So here I sit, listening to the sounds of stomping elephants above my head, screams of hyenas, and charging rhinos. I sip my wine and focus on the art of blissful ignorance. I mean, if there's still noise I know at least they haven't killed each other. I just hope the ceiling doesn't fall through.