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Friday, June 27, 2014

Georgia or Bust

Remember when I gained 7 pounds on my trip to Georgia?  Well that wasn't just a food guilt trip, but was actually a trip to see Ryan and Beth get married!  Halle rode with her Papa Mike and Gigi a few days earlier because she was a junior bridesmaid.  Adam, Sarah, Arden, Jack, Brian, and I all rode in Van Gogh.  We had to be in Georgia on Friday evening by 6:30 pm in order to make it to the rehearsal dinner.  With a twelve hour drive ahead of us we left early Friday morning.  Like really early.  2 AM.  Once Brian got home Thursday evening and got everything situated for the trip, we didn't go to bed until midnight.  This means that Brian drove on 2 hours of sleep.

So if we leave at 2AM for a 12 hour trip, add in plenty of time for frequent stops, say like 2 hours, then we should arrive at our hotel at 4 PM, a good 2 1/2 hours before the rehearsal dinner.  Very reasonable, right? That even gives us two hours of slack for mishaps.
That. Was. The. Plan.

We rolled out of Sarah and Adam's around 2:15.  Getting settled into my little nook in the van and trying to fall back asleep something dawned on me.  I remember Halle texting me on her way there when she hit the time change into Georgia.  Oh Crap!  We forgot there was a time change.  And not to our advantage either.  Going from Central to Eastern time would make us lose an hour.  Shoot, four adults, somewhat smart, and none of us remembered the time change.  Oops.  Well, no biggie, right?  We've allotted ourselves plenty of time so it's going to be ok.  No need to stress.

We're cruising along, got our Waffle House in us, on our way.  We're partway through Alabama.  All of a sudden everyone is exiting the freeway.  Why is everyone exiting?  Who knows, but they are.  Ok, we're thinking, just a little detour.  We will ride the feeder for a bit and then get on the highway again after we've passed the obstacle.


There is no quick detour.  There is a huge body of water to cross, and the only bridge to cross it is what's shut down.  We don't know that at this point, though.  There isn't a feeder, so Brian tries to cut over to a road that looks like it runs parallel to the highway.  It looks promising.  We go on that road for a few miles, and then it ends!  Dang.  Now we have to turn around and go right back to where we started.  Once we backtrack we see a construction worker.  You know, uh-hmmm, the one who waved us down the first time we passed, trying to warn us to not go that way.  He gave us directions on how to bypass the bridge and get back to the highway.  I guess he was getting back at us for not listening to him the first time because he gave us jacked up directions.  About thirty miles into our detour attempt #2 Brian is preoccupied with navigation and hits a speed trap.  He gets pulled over.

The cop seems nice enough, tells us he will give us directions after he runs Brian's license and plates.  Brian is getting antsy, though, because we are now at a point where we are running late.  The cop is taking his sweet time and even spends five minutes giving directions to some ladies who are also lost.  Brian is sure he's going to get off with a warning and be on his way because the officer gave no indication that Brian is getting a ticket and he wasn't going very much over the speed limit.  He also knows that we are lost and running late.  Surely he understands the misfortune of us poor out-of-towners....

After fifteen minutes the cop finally returns, with a ticket.  Brian is MAD.  Remember he's only had two hours of sleep and at this point he's been driving for about 8 hours.  The cop goes over the citation with Brian.  He then, as promised, hands Brian a paper with handwritten directions to get us back on track.  The cop starts to go over the directions with Brian.  Brian snatches the paper, fuming, and tells the cop, "I really don't want to talk to you right now," and rolls up his window!!!

I thought for sure Brian would be in trouble, but the cop just waved us on.  As we turn around and pass the cop again on the highway Brian starts rolling down his window.  "Brian!  Brian!  Don't you dare flip off the cop!"  That's me yelling at Brian because I know he's really pissed, and I'd met my husband before that day.  I'm thinking, oh no, we're never going to end up in Georgia because Brian is going to jail for obscenities!  Brian changes his mind at the last second, thankfully, and doesn't give him the finger.  Thank goodness.

At this point we are all stressed because of our delays, Brian is mad because he got a ticket, and I'm mad at Brian for not keeping his temper in check.  Then Adam chimes, "I know this has been a bad road-trip, but it's going to make for a great blog later!"  We all laugh 'cause it's true.

 The route we were on per the construction worker, would have taken us 2-3 hours out of the way, according to the policeman.  So we backtrack, (again) this time thirty minutes, just to get back to our starting point, again.  We then take the recommended detour to I-10, which takes an hour.

Then we hit traffic.  Sigh.  Sarah and I are putting makeup on in the car because there will be no time to get ready once we arrive at the hotel.  

We finally roll into the Holiday Inn at about 6:15.  A room-booking complication arises, which takes another few minutes.  I give Jack a Mexican shower and change him in the hallway.   Then I turbo change myself and Arden.  

We make it to the rehearsal dinner, thirty minutes late, but make it nonetheless.

After fifteen hours in the car the first item of business is a large glass of wine.  :)

The next day, after Brian had cooled down, Adam and Sarah presented Brian with a souvenir mug to forever remember our eventful trip and his favorite Alabaman cop. :)



Our bushes came back from the dead!  I don't know how in the world it happened, but they started turning green again.  Then a few days ago we got a bud!  It's a miracle!

there's a green branch coming off of the dead brown branch.  How is that possible?

It still has a long way to go for full recovery, but I guess I owe my husband an apology for making fun of him.  :)


I usually put cute or funny things the kids say on the sideline of my blog.  These recent ones, however, deserve their own post.

Halle, "Do you think we could go to Perry's Steakhouse for my birthday?"  After a moment of thinking she says, "I just want to go somewhere that's supposed to be good that I've never been to before.  Or maybe we could go to Waffle House.?.." After I stopped laughing, I say, "Waffle House is pretty much like a Denny's or IHOP."  Halle, "well according to Uncle Adam and Aunt Sarah it's like heaven in a dining room."

Remember when Halle compared owners to their cars and said they look alike?  She's now made a similar observation about dogs and dog owners.  "Like Rudi and me.  We're both a quarter Mexican (Rudi is part Chihuahua) and a lot German."

Arden, "I'm never having kids.  It hurts too bad when they come out of your tummy.  I'm going to be an aunt instead."  Me, "well that means Jack or Halle must have kids."  Arden, "Ok, well I'm going to be an aunt like Aunt Sarah.  I'm going to go to work and do school work and go out of town."  Me, "are you sure you don't want kids?  It only hurts for a little bit."  "Nah, I'm going to have a cat instead."

Hahahahahahaha! I die.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Seven Pounds

No, this isn't a post about Will Smith's 2008 weird and strangely titled movie.  Unfortunately this is about the fat and water weight I gained in a very short period of time. 

As I sit here typing out this blog I am munching on carrot sticks for added dramatics.

We took a trip to Georgia last week for Ryan and Beth's wedding.  On that short three day trip I managed to acquire SEVEN additional pounds of weight!!!!  I about fainted when I stepped on the scale post-trip. Good grief.  This post will highlight each and everyone of those pounds, and what attributed to it, because by-golly I earned them.

Pound 1:  Waffle House.  Adam and Sarah rode in our van with us on the trip.  Including the Littles, there were six of us in the van for our 12 hour drive there.  None of the adults besides Adam had been to Waffle House before and Adam was all about getting him some waffles.  He really wanted the rest of us to try it.  Do you know how many Waffle Houses there are?!?!?!  I think the number of Waffle Houses we passed exceeded the number of Mc Donalds.  I'd never noticed how many there were; there was one at practically every exit.  Needless to say, we stopped at a Waffle House for our first road meal.  We'd all been up since 2 am, so by 8 am we were starving. The rest of us weren't so keen on stopping at a Waffle House, because let's be honest, they are kind of shabby.  
We stopped at a stereotypical Waffle House, and we virgin Waffle Housians ordered pecan waffles.  Oh my, they were outstanding.  And the bacon.  The bacon was thick and delicious.  And the omelettes.  We were sold on Waffle House.  
Waffle House broke my diet so it was all down hill from there.  
Once we exited the highway toward our hotel, Brian said, "I'm really disappointed because there wasn't a Waffle House sign at the exit,"  Two seconds later we pulled forward at the stoplight, and low, and behold, as if the heavens opened up and the angels started singing, we saw not just a sign, but the sign sitting on top of the restaurant itself.
    Hilarious!  Didnt' matter though, because there were three more much closer to our hotel. 

Pound 2: Road trip crap food.  Collectively these contributed to pound 2: Skittles, Pork skins, gummy bears, Krystal Burgers, Iced Coffee, sunflower seeds, Corn Nuts, and more. 

Pound 3: Brisket. The rehearsal dinner and wedding reception both had very delicious brisket. And as a mom you know that I don't just eat my plate, but I finish whatever is left on the Littles' plates.  Not to mention the chicken, mashed potatoes, cheesy grits, bread, wine, beer, cheese......

Pound 4: Key lime cake.  The wedding cake was four tiers and each was a different flavor: chocolate, peach, strawberry, and KEY LIME!  The key lime was sooooo good.  I've never had a key lime cake before, and it was to die for.  

Pound 5:  Krispy Kreme. On the way home Adam was on a different mission.  This time it wasn't Waffle House, but Krispy Kreme.  Two dozen donuts in our van = no bueno.  Brownie batter donuts, cake batter donuts, lemon filled, strawberry filled, and hot and fresh plain glazed.  Honestly these bad boys probably contributed a pound and a half.
oh wait, looks like we had more than two dozen.  Wow.

Pound 6:  Pizza Village in Lafayette.  Hamburger pizza and meat lovers pizza.  Nuff said.

Pound 7: DQ. Once again Adam (dang it Adam) and Brian were on a mission (I should probably blame Brian more since he was driving) to find a Dairy Queen.  If Adam and Brian are together, chances are there will be a DQ stop for blizzards.  

(Ok, backstory: so we are pretty famous at our local DQ for our blizzards.  All four of us order the same thing.  "Chocolate Extreme Blizzard with extra extra fudge and extra extra cookie dough.  Make sure there's so much fudge that it's almost black."  This is sooo good!  This particular order can be blamed on pregnant Bobbie.  I got upset with Brian when I was pregnant with Jack.  I sent Brian to DQ and he didn't bring back the blizzard the way I wanted it.  I think I cried.  I wanted it with so much extra stuff that there would be more toppings than ice cream.  The next time he went back he told them his pregnant wife yelled at him because they didn't do it right.  He told them to get it right or he was going to be in trouble again.  They finally nailed it.  Brian, Adam, and Sarah tried it, and they've been ordering it the same way since.  Between the four of us we have those employees trained on how to make a perfect blizzard)

I was good this time around and didn't order a blizzard at our roadtrip DQ stop.  Sometimes I have will power.  But.  There's a but.  Halle couldn't finish the last half of her large order (she was in sugar shock between that and Krispy Kreme) so I finished it for her.  I couldn't let it go to waste!

For good measure (no pun intended) I also ate all of my veggies and drank lots of water in an effort to balance (see I punned it again) everything out.  Didn't work.