April Fools

Halle and Arden played a joke on me.  They got me.  My heart stopped when I saw this.  Naughty girls. 

pretending to have cut herself with a knife.  That's ketchup of course.

Where the Wild Things Are

My house is a disaster zone 90% of the time.  Seriously worried that the government will come condemn the place. Ok, maybe it's not that bad, but at times it's almost Hoarders material. 

These are the reasons why my house is a mess.


this



and this



and sometimes this

Once upon a time (a year ago actually) I had it in my head that my house would be perfect and spotless.  I mean, I would be home all the time so the laundry would be done, the dishes would always be put away, and my toilets would sparkle, right???    Then reality set in.  And reality is now crawling and has a mischievous sister.  My house constantly has Cheerios on the floor, spilled chocolate milk (spill-proof cups are NOT spill-proof, by the way) clean laundry mixed with dirty laundry, dirty diapers, dishes over-piling, and all the crap the kids have pulled out to play with (toy makers should be imprisoned for all the cluttering little pieces they make.) 

I clean my house inside and out.  Thirty minutes later there should be caution tape up.  Jack has pulled all of my clothes out of a drawer, DVDs out of a cabinet, and all of the wipies out of the box.  Arden has decided to play dress up with every pair of shoes I own and then use 39 markers to color one picture.  Their attention spans are 4 seconds tops so before you know it they are on to the next thing.  Arden will clean up when I tell her to, but ONLY if I'm constantly on her to do it.  I try to confine Jack to his playpen or walker, but then he just screams and screams because he wants to get out and explore.  At this point I go on strike because I decide I'm not going to spend my whole life cleaning; the little creatures that overrun it can figure it out on their own, lol.

He found the hairband bin



random brown PlayDoh I found in my shoe

one day's work in Arden's room



This is a toilet paper roll that Arden chunked in the toilet.  This is Charmin MEGA roll.  I was so mad!  Note there is no water in the toilet... because the paper soaked it all up.

 I'm really not complaining.  I LOVE my job as a stay at home mom and all the craziness it entails.  And thankfully I have a husband who understands there's wild animals living among us.  It's just that I need a cage.  A really big one the size of my house.  The end.  :)

Little Mommies

That's what my girls think they are, anyway. 

Halle scolds Arden, and most of the time it's when Arden is being disrespectful to me.  Halle uses the rational, calm, yet stern mom-voice that I use.  "Arden, you don't talk to Mommy that way."  "Arden you need to say you're sorry to Mommy because that wasn't nice."  "Arden, Mommy asked you a question.  When she asks you a question you need to answer her."  Halle says all of these things in the exact tone that I use and sounds exactly me.  It's so funny.... and nice to know that Kid 1's got my back.

Arden has her turn of being mommy when she is scolding Jack.  Arden tends to take on the meaner, eratic, badder mom-version of me....  the one that she tends to personally encounter on a regular basis.  "Jack!  Stop!  No, bad boy!"  "No, Jack, don't do that!  Leave that alone!"  "Jack!  Do that again and you're gonna be in BIG trouble!"  "Do you need a spanking?"  Halle then intervenes.  "Arden, Jack is just a baby.  Be nice to him.  Would you want someone to be mean to you?"  
Ha!!!  Kids.  Gotta love 'em.  :)

You're Under Arrest



At least that what Arden looks like when I have her put her hands on the car, lol.  Doesn't she look guilty in this picture?  :) 

Hargrave Hoodlum

 

 

Why does she look like she is about to get frisked?... Well because I have a fear of Arden darting in front of other cars when we are in a parking lot and getting hit.  It always makes me cringe when I see kids running through a parking lot.  It's hard to safely get in and out of my vehicle with small two kids in tow.  So... I make Arden put both hands on the car if she has to wait on me.  She has to keep both hands on the car until I say it's okay to put them down.  This makes it easier for me because then I know she's not running around while I'm busy getting situation.  She stays like this until I've gotten Jack out and into his stroller.  For some reason this works better than me simply telling her to stand still. 

 

 I'm sure passersby think we're weird.

Straw Drinking Lesson

There's probably many ways to teach a baby how to drink from a straw.

But just in case you wanted to learn the Bobbie Hargrave method (tried and true 3 babies in a row), here it is......

Baby age: 12 months
Time this method takes: approx 30 seconds

1)with one hand hold drink of choice and stick straw in baby's mouth
2)with other hand pinch baby's nose completely shut
3)keep holding nose as baby flails around because he/she doesn't like the nose pinching
4)try not to poke baby in the eye with the straw while the flailing is occuring
5)keep holding until baby is forced to take a breath through mouth
6)baby will then involuntarily suck in the drink
7)baby gets surprised that the drink is coming through the straw and will either a)get scared or b)be pleasantly surprised.  do not be alarmed if the baby gets scared.  this is only temporary.
8)baby overcomes the initial reaction and enjoys drinking from the straw.

Congratulations on completely this lesson.

 Now go put those baby nose-pinchers to use.

Tulips

I wish someone would have been in the room videotaping Arden and I during this dialogue.

I was making some paper flowers for a craft and Arden was helping.  I was paying more attention to my craft than I was to the conversation I was having with her; otherwise I would have caught it sooner.

She's got paper flowers in her hands and is playing with them:
Me:  "Those are tulips."
Her: "Lips?"
Me: "Those flowers are tulips."
Her: "Lups?"
Me: "No, tulips!"
Her: "Ma'am?"
Me: "Tooooo- liiiiiiiips"
Her: "liiiiiiiips"
Me: "No!!!  Tulips"
Her:  "lips"
Me:  "Arden, they are tulips. Tulips.  Tulips.  They're called tulips."
Her: "Lups?"

I kid you not, this went on for a good two minutes.  Like I said I really wasn't paying attention to our conversation.  I was getting irritated with her for not understanding what I was saying.  Honestly I thought she was just messing me with by playing dumb.  I'm sure we sounded so hilarious and stupid.  I finally looked up from my craft to see she had two paper tulips in her hands.

If you haven't caught on by now, she thought I was saying the flowers were called "lups" or "lips" (she couldn't quite catch that part because I must say tulip differently depending on how fast I'm talking) and there were TWO of them.  Two Lups.  Duh.

Mispronunciations

You may not think it's cute and maybe I'm biased, but this kid constantly has me rolling.  I think she is so funny and cute. She's got a great sense of humor, and I love the way she expresses her thoughts.

I like to keep records of my kids' mispronunciations and the funny things they say so I can look back and enjoy them.  They are my favorite.  I get sad when they finally learn the right way to say stuff.  I have handwritten slips of paper of funny things Halle said when she was little, and I really enjoy going back to reminisce her early years every once in a while.  They really do grow up so fast, so I try to capture as many memories as possible; they are very special to me.  I mean, really is my baby boy already turning one?!!!!

First I'll start out with the way Arden currently says some words.  

*"I squirrel my tahn."  I twirl my baton.

*"Do you want to be ten with me?" Do you want to pretend with me?

*"You nember?"  Do you remember?

*"mess-ghetti" spaghetti.  I actually think her word is very fitting.

Arden sometimes doesn't know a particular word, so she'll do her best to describe it to you.
"I was sleeping and there was a scary monster behind my eyes!"  I had a bad dream.
"When I was sad my eyes were wet and my nose was wet and tickling me." I started tearing up and got a runny nose.

Cute Story
Yesterday I pulled Jack's jeans off of him so he would be comfortable while napping.  After his nap I made a poor judgment of how much time I had in order to leave my house.  I was rushing around trying to get the kids ready in order to make it on time to a class at the Y.  I couldn't find Jack's jeans.  I yelled at Arden to hurry and get dressed while I frantically searched the same spots for the jeans I knew I JUST had before Jack's nap (isn't it funny how you always keep searching the same spot over and over again as if the missing item will magically reappear.)  "Arden!  Get your shoes on!  We have to hurry!  Where are Jack's pants?  Have you seen them?"  "I don't know, Mommy.  Mommy!  My hair is messy!  You need to brush it!"  I figured I must have set the jeans down somewhere and wasn't thinking straight because I was in a hurry.  So I gave up on the jeans, changed his diaper, and pulled out a fresh pair of pants from his dresser.  Mind you, this is all happening in about 2 1/2 minutes.  Arden is running around trying to find missing shoes and telling me her hair is a mess and I need to brush it.  Get the picture?  Not a "mom who has got-it-together moment."  She gives up on me fixing her hair and is still trying to put on shoes while we're running out the door.  I take a look at what she has decided to wear.  She's got on a long sleeved shirt, high waters, and dress up shoes.  I don't care at this point that she looks like a neglected child since I'm rushing, but make a mental note that she needs new pants. Most of Arden's jeans are too short on her because she is so tall and skinny.  It's chilly outside and I really wish she'd put some longer jeans on, but am not too concerned since my class starts in ten minutes and I really don't want to miss.  I mean, she's going to be inside anyway.  She's not going to freeze in the one minute it takes to walk from the car to the inside.  These are all of the things going through my head  as I'm strapping in the kids, making a bottle for Jack, and trying to fill up my own water bottle.  

Whew!  I made it to my class in the nick of time.  

After class I'm no longer in a hurry and am able to think straighter.  I go to the childcare center to pick up my kids.  Again I see Arden's short pants and think to my self that the poor kid looks pitiful in her outfit and crazy hair.   It's not until then that I realize what happened to Jack's jeans.  She was WEARING them!  I'm laughing hysterically at this moment.  I try to explain to Brian why this is so funny but he just looks at me and and gives me a courtesy chuckle.  It was obviously a "you had to have been there" type of moment.  Either way I thought it was hilarious that 1)she looked like a fool, 2)she didn't realize she put on her brother's clothes, and 3)she is so skinny that she is able to fit in 6-12 month clothes.  Arden thought it was really funny when I told her she was wearing baby boy clothes.  She laughed along with me once she realized what she did.  

I thought the jeans were uncomfortable for her to wear, since they are almost too small for Jack.  But I guess not because she went to bed in them and slept the whole night with them on.  This is her this morning after she woke up.. with her brother's jeans still on.  

In the picture they almost look like cute capris.  Trust me when I say they were not cute in person.  

Why, why, why?

OMG, the "why?"s have started with Arden.  I specifically remember them starting with Halle at age 4, so I guess it's due time for Arden, too. 

"Why do I have to put my shoes on?"  To go to the store.  "Why do we have to go to the store?"  To get food.  "Why do we have to get food?"  To make dinner.  "Why do we have to make dinner?"  To eat.  "Why do we have to eat?"  Because we'll be hungry.  "Why will we be hungry?"  Because we haven't eaten.  "Why haven't we eaten?"  It keeps going.......  I finally say, "Because!!!  That's why!"  and she'll respond with, "Because why?"  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

All.  Day.  Long. 

This kid already talks and talks and talks, and is the most persistent person in the entire world.  Brian and I joke that she will either be a telemarketer or collections agent, both which don't take no for an answer.  She just does not stop.  Adding the whys to that......  I may have a breakdown. 

If anyone needs me I'll be in the corner banging my head against the wall. 

:)

Pinstrosiversary - Icecream Cone Cupcakes Pinstrosity

It was my husband's birthday so I was excited to try out this pin.
http://pinterest.com/pin/71846556526042457/


I loathe making cupcakes.  I hate pouring the batter into each little liner, the liners folding over and making a mess, and having the batter drip on the cupcake pan between each pour.  Ughhh.  I'd much rather pour the batter into a big fat pan and be done with it.  I also hate peeling the liner off when eating the cupcake.  It's messier to me than just using a fork. 

But...... the idea of baking and eating the cake right out of an icecream cone really appealed to me.  What a great idea!!!!!

Except these are how mine turned out! 



Hahahaha!  I overpoured the batter, and the batter melted the sides of the cones.  You can also see that one of the cones turned over.  I should have put them in a cupcake pan so they would stay upright.  Since the cones are so tall (I used the jumbo cones) some of the cone-cakes weren't completely done.  Oh well, it was 6 pm on my husband's birthday so I just "made-do."

I cleaned them up the best I could and decorated them.

If I turned them just right you didn't notice the bad parts as much.  :)

Now for the taste test.  The cake-part was outstanding (after I baked them longer than I initially did.)  They were very easy to eat and my kids loved them.  The cone had a spongy texture though, rather than crunchy.  I did not care for it.  At least there was no cleanup, though.  No paper plate to throw away or cupcake liner to throw away.  The only clean up I did was my son's face!

 

The Guileless Mind of a Three-year Old

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but the three-year old stage is a favorite of mine.  Their thought process is pure and unpretentious.  They don't quite understand literal vs. figurative speech, and mimic the expressions of older people.  In other words, the things they come up with are so adorable to me!  Here's a handful of Arden's recent naivete's that I treasure.    

Arden is the type to argue with you until she's blue in the face if she feels she's right.  Arden argued with me a few weeks ago about what day it was.  "Mommy what day is it?"  "Sunday."  "No it's not," she argued.  "Yes it IS," I insisted.  We bantered back and forth a few times with me wondering why she was so adamant about it not being Sunday.  She exclaimed, "But it's dark outside!  There's no sun!"

On Christmas Eve Arden experienced probably what every poor Houstonian kid has ever experienced .... the realization that we don't have Christmases that look like the movies.  I'm not sure where Arden got the notion from, but at the very instant she cut the last day off her Advent calendar, she raced to the window to see the SNOW.  "Mommy, it's Christmas now!!!!  It's snowing outside!" she said as she craned her neck to see the sky.  To her utter shock and disappointment, it was still the same hot, muggy weather we'd had all month.  Poor thing, she was so upset because she waited 24 days to see snow.  My heart wanted to break.  No White Christmas here.

Her new word this week is actually.  This is her go-to word when she wants to make a point.  "Actually, I need to get my shoes on."  "Actually, I want to play outside."  She loves to use the word even if it means it being used in the wrong context.  "Mommy I need to go actually to the bathroom."

Arden also likes to say "I have a quick question for you."  "Sure!" I said the first time, surprised at how polite and grown-up she sounded.  She then proceeded to TELL me something rather than ask.  "Jack is in his room and he's playing."  (After a week of this I feel pestered by all of those unstated questions hanging out there in limbo.  Must be my OCD kicking in.)

And tonight, "Take a picture of me!"  she demanded while I was playing with my phone.  "No," I corrected, "Will you please take a picture of me?'"  Arden replied, "Ok, then give me the camera so I can take a picture of you."  Jeez, what am I going to do with her?  All I could do was shake my head and say cheese. 

Pinstrosity

*************UPDATE*************
Here is the updated recipe holder.  Much better.....  :)

*****************************************************************************



pin·stros·i·ty \pin-ˈsträ-sə-tē\: a pin of great and often frightening size, force, or complexity.

I follow a blog called Pinstrosity.  The blog writers receive emails from readers about failed Pinterest attempts, and it is hilarious.  Well today I am showcasing one of my very own "pinstrosities!"  Typically my DIY projects come out decent, but this one was an epic failure. 

Here is the original pin.

Cookie sheet-turned magnet board for holding recipes.

All you do is take an old cookie sheet, paint it, and decorate it with craft paper.  Add a few magnets, a stand, and voila, a recipe holder while you're cooking.  Easy enough, right?  Easy enough if you're not me.  I used a silver platter instead that I thought would be cute.  I decided to do another color other than black, and used scrapbook paper from Halle's craftbox.  I was too lazy to go to Michael's or Hobby Lobby to get the supplies that I really needed.  The scrapbook paper didnt match very well with the hideous burnt orange paint I used, so I tried to make it looked "distressed" instead.  I then tried to cover up the horribleness with some writing, only to have it look like Arden's artwork.  Oh, and let's not forget the small magnet I painted to match.  Here is my pinstrosity....

 

 

Ha!!!!  In my head it was super cute.  When Crystal saw it, she said, "Awww, so sweet, Halle made a craft."  Nope, Halle would have done much better, lol.  I plan on repainting it black and trying again on the decorating.  I will update with my finished product.  Anything is better than this!

 

 

On the plus side, I do have a few DIY "pin-wins" to redeem myself. 

a growth chart I made out of a piece of wood and help from Alicia's cricut cutter

Arden's jeans still fit in the waist, but has outgrown the length of ALL of her jeans, so I added ruffles to the ends.  I think they came out adorable.

 

Ode to my Pumpkin

I once bought a pumpkin,  it was orange and round,
For Jack's pictures it would be, an autumn prop on the ground.
The photo was precious, even though Jack was a toot,
Now what to do with this overgrown fruit?. 

Let's carve it, says Halle, and roast the pumpkin seeds,
A princess was her vision, and carving knife was our need.
But only a steak knife we had, to make this ball art,
Thus a scary witch was the product, and the crown fell apart.

Oh well, 'least the seeds are tasty, from this hunk of squash,
Now what else can we do with the pumpkin not-so-posh?
"Let's bake it!!"  said I, "I'll give it a good rubbin'
With olive oil, and slice it, and stick in the oven."

Two hours go by before it's nice and tender,
I pureed it to a pulp with my handy Ninja blender.
So much pumpkin I had, what on earth did I do?
I bagged it and froze it, and even made baby food!

Pumpkin bread, pumpkin cake, pumpkin cobbler galore
It was so yummy, but now I must say PUMPKIN NO MORE!

Moving Forward

This post reminds me of a funny story that Brian has shared with me several times.  I love hearing Brian give his account of it: 
When Brian was a teenager, he owned a truck.  Being the typical teenage boy up to no good and being bored one day he decided to take his truck mudding.  He ragged his truck out that day.  I don't know exactly how he did it, but his mudding excursion ended up breaking his truck.  Scared to death of his dad finding out that his recklessness caused the damage, he managed to get his truck to a car wash to clean it up.  He washed away all of the dried clumps of mud from his truck until it was sparkly clean and beautiful.  To hear Brian tell it, it was spotless, and there was no trace of evidence.  He told his dad when he showed up, "I don't know what happened to it.  It just broke down."  Except Brian forgot one teeny-tiny detail.  He forgot to wash the whole undercarriage.  The entire bottom was still caked with mud.  Well his dad, being a smart dad, figured out in no time that Brian wasn't so innocent in the matter.  He was one pissed off dad. 

This was the problem with the truck.  It wouldn't drive forward.  It only drove in reverse.  His dad, very angry, his left hand on the steering wheel, his head turned over his shoulder, resting his right arm over the bench seat, drove that truck from the car wash. all. the. way. home.... in REVERSE!  He drove several miles.  He drove down Cypresswood, across 249, and into the neighborhood, periodically glaring at Brian through the front windshield as Brian followed behind in his dad's car.  He got majorly grounded for that one.  Ha!  I love hearing Brian tell the story. 

So I don't know if my husband passed on his irreversible misfortune (see what I just did right there?), or if this is something common with babies, but my children seem to get themselves stuck in reverse when learning to become mobile.  Arden and Jack, especially, had problems going forward in the baby walkers and while crawling.  They would see something in front of them and try to go toward it.  Their mind would say go forward but their bodies ended up going backwards instead.  This caused them lots of frustration.  For the past month Jack has been sliding all around the floor, pushing himself backwards.  He would get so mad when his object of desire kept getting farther and farther away.  He then learned that if he wanted something all he needed to do was turn AWAY from it and go backwards to get it.... pretty comical to watch.

I have a baby calendar that I keep track of Jack's baby milestones with.  I had been impatiently waiting to mark the calendar with the "crawling" sticker, but didn't feel right denoting the achievement with him still in crab-mode.  These are the things I stress about.  I know, I need help.  So, finally on Saturday, to my delight, I added the sticker; he actually moved FORWARD!  Yay!  He crawled!  It's only an army crawl, but it's a start in the right direction. 

 

I have a really cute video of Arden stuck in reverse-mode at Jack's age, but unfortunately wasn't able to load it on here.  So here's a few more pictures of Jack in his crawling endeavors. 

Trying to crawl

planking

his expression is funny

And finally just a sweet picture of Jack when he fell asleep in his walker.  such a sweetheart

 

   

Quotes

A couple of my favorite quotes from my girls recently....

Me- "Arden, what did you learn at Bible Study today?"
Arden- "about Jesus." (no, really?)
Me- "What else?"
Arden- "Cookies are yummy and boogers are yucky."
TRUE.

Me- "Did you know that Aunt Sarah's last name is Vowell?"
Arden- laughing hysterically because that's so funny to her.  "A,E,I,O,U, and sometimes Y!!!"

Halle- "I'm so sorry Daddy for not calling you when I got home.  I just got so carried away with my homework." 
uh-huh, sure. 

Halle looking at my stomach- "Mommy, you're finally getting your six pack back."
She then proceeds to poke my abs, "Oh nevermind, it's just fat."

Headbandz

So we have a game called Headbandz.  Each player puts a plastic headband on his head with a card that has a word on it.  The purpose of putting it on your head is so that everyone knows what the cards says but you.  The player has a minute each round to ask yes/no questions to figure out what the word is.  
Arden can't read.  Arden doesn't understand the rules.  Yet....Arden insists on playing, so here is Arden playing her version of Headbandz.

This girl constantly has me rolling.  At this rate she'll get her word, hmmmmmm, never.  Lol.

Jack's Friend

Jack has a new friend.  He thinks he's the coolest.  :)

 



Minute To Win It

 

On Friday we had game night with the Greens.  Crystal mentioned wanting to play a home version of the popular TV game show, Minute to Win it.  That sounded like a great idea to me.  I scrounged up a bunch of household items that I thought might be useful for our game, and we headed to their house.  I took a trash bag full of stuff like Q tips, paper plates, cards, napkins, cups, string, etc, etc. 

Oh my gosh!  We had SO MUCH FUN playing our crazy game.  It was a blast watching everyone look and act like idiots!  

We divided into two teams: boys vs girls.  We created seven rounds.  We had a minute to complete each task (duh.)  Some of the rounds were very easy, and some were almost impossible.  I cannot emphasize how much fun we had.  At first we thought that the three year olds, Myleigh and Arden, would be too little to play, but they were able to hang with the older crowd.  This was truly a game that could be played by all ages. 

Here's a few pictures of the game and our awesomely fun night.

Challenge 1: Blow a cup across the table with a straw - Easy

Jakob and Halle blowing the cups

I made up the rule that you couldn't leave the starting end of table. I bent my own rule by laying on the table, ha!  My cheater husband kept poking me while I was trying to blow the cup;  I kept laughing and almost lost this challenge.

Challenge 2: Put a cracker on your face and use only your facial expressions to get it to your mouth - Moderate

This round was my favorite to watch.  You've got to watch the videos.  Everyone looks so stupid trying to get the cracker to their mouths.  Arden was freakin funny because I guess she thought it was just a balancing act.  I'm laughing as I type this just thinking back to this round!   (Excuse the quality of the pictures.  One of these days I'll have a camera better than my phone camera.)

Crystal and Nik's pic is my favorite.  They look absolutely ridiculous. 

Here's videos of Myleigh/Arden and Brian/Me

 

 

 

 

 

Challenge 3- Swing an inflatable dolphin with your hips to move a plastic thingamajig into a hula hoop - very difficult

Another really fun one to watch.  We were not good at this one at all.  We were a little worried that Crystal might end up going into labor after squatting like that!  Although no one actually accomplished this challenge, we think the kids had an advantage since they were shorter (and therefore closer to the ground.)  The little girls got the right idea with this challenge.  They gave up and just kicked the plastic ball thingy into the hula hoop

Challenge 3- Using only your mouth, transfer penne pasta onto a single spaghetti noodle - Moderate to Difficult

Challenge 5- Use a straw to transfer candy corn into a cup - Moderate

If you ever play this, make sure you don't have a hole in your straw like I did.

Challenge 6- With Vaseline on your nose, transfer cotton balls into a cup - Easy to Moderate

 

And Nik grossing me out by pretending that the Vaseline is a popped pimple.

Challenge 7- slingshot rubberbands into toilet paper to tear it - Difficult

Crystal and I are holding up the TP rolls.  Crystal's face says it all.  We don't want to get hit by the rubberbands!

I definitely recommend this for a family night.  It cost us no money since we used household items.  Costing $0 is a miracle considering it was fun for 9 people!  Halfway through the game we forgot to keep score, so I'll just go ahead and say the GIRLS WON!!!!

Name writing

Today Arden wrote her name and drew a self portrait. You can see 'Arden' on the top and 'Rose' on the bottom.... sort of. I wish my arms came out of my head, too. Oh, and feel free to detangle your hair with the 'E.'

Love her :)

Baby Fat

I adore my fat baby.  He's got some serious chunk going on.... and squishy legs.  I absolutely love it.  Check out those thigh rolls!